It has been said that people will forget what we said.  They may remember what we did.  But, they will always remember how we made them feel.

I had the great privilege recently of participating in the global TEC/Vistage annual conference in Los Angeles.  I was one of the MCs for the event and co-led a couple of workshops.  At the end of the conference each of the MCs shared from the stage what we deemed to be our Most Precious Memory from the conference.  We then asked members of the audience to share their own Precious Memory.

I have to confess, when we were directed through the script to use the term “precious memory” it personally felt awkward.  “Favourite memory” was a better fit for me.  My push back was pushed back upon by the conference director and I was encouraged to ‘go deep’ with my comments to the audience of over 700 leaders from 4 continents.

I spent some time swimming through the clutter in my head to get into the depths of my heart.

I began to see through the dark recesses of my heart a remembrance of a quote about the way we make people feel being what they will remember about us.   Yes, that’s it.  If I am really honest what I will remember about this conference is how my fellow chairs made me feel.  And yes, it is precious to me.

My role on the MC team afforded me the pleasure of connecting with all the conference participants, even if it was most often a one way connection.  What I discovered was that my fellow Chairs went out of their way to share kind words of encouragement with me.  Their effusive affirmations were overwhelming.

Upon deeper reflection I discovered that my most precious memory of this conference was definitely the way my colleagues made me feel.  I felt cared for (dare I say “loved”!), encouraged, celebrated and that I belonged.  I will never forget how these precious people made me feel.  And, the more I stayed in the depths of my heart and savored the experience, the better I felt.

In light of this, my question to you is simple, “How do you make your people feel?”

Your people will forget what you say.  They will remember some of what you did.  They will never forget how you made them feel.

Do you make your people feel cared for – even loved?  Do you encourage them?  Do you celebrate them?  Do they feel like they belong, that they contribute?  Oftentimes employees feel uncared for, unnoticed, unknown, discouraged, and isolated.

They feel like they are tolerated, not celebrated.

It’s not difficult to make people feel cared for, noticed, encouraged, celebrated, and part of community.  Here is what my fellow Chairs did for me:  they called me by name, they shared how what I was doing was positively impacting them, they affirmed the value I was adding, they validated my contributions, thanked me, and encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing.

Fairly simple really.

I call that “Triple A Leadership”: Acknowledge, Affirm, Appreciate.

Call your people by name and acknowledge the good work they are doing.  Affirm the value of what they do and how it benefits the organization, and encourage them to keep doing it.  Then thank them for who they are and what they are contributing – show your appreciation.

It’s not rocket science, but it sure makes a significant difference in the hearts of your people and the culture of your organization.  If you will choose to regularly acknowledge, affirm and appreciate your people, I guarantee they will feel great about themselves and will love working for you.  They will be engaged, and their contribution to the organization will continue to grow.

If, however, you do not practice “Triple A Leadership” your people will equally remember how you make them feel: unnoticed, unappreciated, uncared for, discouraged and isolated.  They, in turn, will be disengaged and your organization will suffer for it.

Choose to acknowledge, affirm and appreciate.  One way or the other, your people will always remember how you make them feel.