“I don’t think you understand, nobody says “no” to Mr. Smith.”

And the meeting summarily ended.

The background to this encounter involved a high profile, high-powered TV personality who was invited to take his show on the road to Britain.  The two British leaders hoping to work with him had flown to his headquarters in the US.  They were ushered into a private room to await the arrival of the celebrity.  Amidst much posturing and bravado the celebrity entered the room and outlined how he was going to bring his road show to the British people.

At the end of his high energy monologue he finished by stating, “Ok, so that’s how we’ll do it – we’re good to go then.”

His guests responded by saying, in effect, “No, we’re not good to go.  It may work in your culture, but it won’t work in ours.”

With that the TV personality left the room.  His assistant then indicated that “no” was not a word you said to “Mr. Smith”.

Clearly I have changed the name of the celebrity to protect his identity, but needless to say, arrogance was a significant issue in his life.  It later turned out that he had a particular appetite for ‘ladies of the night’ and his reputation was irreparably damaged.  Pride came before his fall.

It would appear that ‘pride’ was a significant issue he needed to deal with.  Anyone who isn’t willing to have someone tell them ‘no’ clearly has an issue with pride.

“I’m right – you’re wrong.”  “I know what’s best – you don’t”.  That’s arrogance.  That is being unteachable, uncoachable, unleadable.  That attitude is particularly destructive in leaders.  It alienates the leader from their team and limits everyone’s effectiveness.  When a leader is surrounded by “yes men” the only perspective he or she will have is their own, and that leaves no room for creativity and synergy – only obedience.  Talk about limiting the power and potential of a team…

Humility is the only antidote.

Powerful and profound leaders choose to humble themselves.  They choose to be learners.  They realize that there is more they don’t know than they know.  They recognize that humility is not thinking less of themselves, but thinking of themselves less.  They know that being open to the opinion and input of others is a critical means of making more informed and more intelligent decisions.

My question to you is simply, “Who says “no” to you?”

To whom have you given permission to confront you and tell you that you are off base, off track, or off your rocker?  This is an initiative that only you can take.  Nobody can force this on you – you must invite people to give you this kind of input, and that takes humility.

I know getting this kind of input cuts across the grain.  It’s like petting a cat backwards – it rubs you the wrong way.  Don’t get offended when people point out to you where you may be off-base.  Be thankful that you have people in your life who care enough to help you see your error.  The input you receive may not be totally accurate or even worthy of implementation, but it is worthy of consideration and then determining how you may or may not utilize it.

I have discovered that it is oftentimes flawed people who give us this kind of input.  It’s easy to get angry and write off what they say because of how they may have said it, or the timing of their input.  Well you know what?  The only kind of people on this earth are flawed people, so don’t write off what they have to say because it wasn’t done exactly the way you would have wanted it said.

Get over it and take it into consideration.

I am utterly convinced that the prerequisite to leading and living profoundly and powerfully is humility.  Humility enables us to be continually learning – even from the most unlikely sources.  Humility also enables us to see the concerns of others before our own and, therefore, lead for the benefit of others.

One powerful way we can choose humility is to invite people in our life to share truthfully with us.  Be big enough (read ‘humble enough’) to not get offended by someone disagreeing with you, but graciously receive their input – no matter how ungraciously it was given – and take it into consideration.

It is a wise leader who chooses humility and invites others to say “no” to him.