When you think of great leaders who do you think of?

Perhaps history changers?  Men and women who changed the course of history through their convictions, commitments, character and courage:  Winston Churchill?  Rosa Parks?  Theodore Roosevelt?  Martin Luther King Jr.?  Mother Teresa?  Julius Caesar?  Nelson Mandela?  Margaret Thatcher? Socrates?  Catherine the Great?  Queen Victoria?

They are all epic leaders who changed the course of history.

Now, let me ask you a different question: Who had the greatest impact on your life?  Who played a significant role in making you, you?

I’ll bet you didn’t think of any of the history changing leaders I just mentioned.  Who did you think of?  I will bet you thought of your mother, or father, or brother, or sister, an aunt, an uncle, a grandparent, a teacher, a coach – someone close to you.

I have asked this question of many people and the answers are the same.  Sure we respect, admire and look up to epic history-changing leaders, but when it comes down to people who have had the greatest impact on our lives it’s always people who were/are close to us.

If I were to answer that question my first thought would be my brother.  He is 10 years older than I am, and played a significant role in my life in many ways.  He has been a great mentor to me, and continues to be to this very day.  He taught me everything from how to tell time, to how to ski black diamonds; from how to propose to my girlfriend, to how to plan a honeymoon; from how to set up a household budget, to how to work through marriage difficulties; from how to live with great character, to how to lead with integrity.

Much of who I am and the values I carry I can attribute to my brother.  And, there are many, many other people who have contributed to who I am: my father, mother, teachers, coaches, etc.  Just like you, who we are is the result of the input of many, many people.  There is no such thing as a “self-made man” – it’s a preposterous notion.

Who we are is the synergistic sum of the village that has cared for us, even including those who have wounded us.

There are two common denominators to any of the “leaders” who have had the greatest impact on making you, you:

1. They cared for and about you.
2. They encouraged you to be and do more.

Basically they loved you and believed in you.  They had a significant influence in your life because you knew they cared about you, so they had your trust.  And, they helped you to move forward, to be ‘better’ somehow.

True leadership is helping people be better, and that happens every day in ordinary situations, by ordinary people who don’t even recognize what they are doing is significant.  They probably don’t even consider themselves to be leaders.

But the truth is, if you are helping people be better somehow, someway, then you are a leader.  Everyone can lead; we simply have different capacities for leadership.  Some people have the capacity to be leaders on a large scale, others on a lesser scale.  Leading on a lessor scale does not diminish for a moment the profound role you can play in another person’s life.

Look at the people who made you, you: Would they consider themselves great leaders?  Would they even consider themselves to be a leader at all?  Perhaps not, yet to you they have been the most significant leader in your life.

The bottom line prerequisite for being a significant leader is this: You have to care.  You have to care about someone and you have to care about something.  Then you have to be willing to encourage and equip that person, or persons, to be ‘better’ – whatever ‘better’ looks like for them, and for your organization.

So, who do you care about?  What do you care about? Learn from who made you, you; care about others and encourage them to become and do more than they may think possible.  And, that’s really how the course of human history is changed.