Are you familiar with the ABCs of selling?

OK class, repeat after me, “Always Be Closing”.

Some of you just had a massive shiver go up your spine. Flashbacks to a bygone era of ‘salesmanship’, most iconically demonstrated in a certain scene involving Alec Baldwin in the movie Glengarry Glenross.

The scene, which is painful to watch, has Baldwin attempting to aggressively berate a group of 3 aging car salesmen into higher sales performance. He preaches the gospel of aggressive selling, whose mantra is, “Always be closing!”. It is certainly old-school and not reflective of the new economy we find ourselves in now.

People today do not want to be told what they should buy. The do not want to be talked at. They want to be engaged in a conversation about how best to meet their need.

Customers nowadays utilize the internet to gather enormous amounts of information about the products they are considering buying, including researching a wide array of customer reviews. The balance of power has shifted from the seller to the buyer.

“Always be closing” was the long held battle cry of an extroverted salesman whose job was to get you to sign on the line. He held the power known as “product knowledge” and informed you about what you needed to know to judge his product or service as being exactly what you wanted. He was continually moving you, AKA ”pressuring you”, toward making a buying decision.

It was this type of selling that gave salesmanship a bad image. The stereotypical used-car salesman who was overly friendly, sickeningly insincere, of suspect integrity, and hyper motivated to sell you anything regardless of what you were really looking for.

Daniel H. Pink in his book To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth about Moving Others, makes a very strong case that everyone must know how to sell. He redefines selling as being able to “move” others: the ability to influence, persuade and sway others opinions. He argues that everyone in an organization needs to be able to communicate in a fashion that influences others – whether you are a receptionist, an accountant, a mail clerk or a manager.

Pink redefines the new ABCs of selling as Attunement, Buoyance and Clarity. I am not going to unpack those; you can look that up for yourself. What I am going to do is take a kick at my own new ABCS of selling. I propose it’s time to look at the “DEFs” of selling:

Demonstrate Empathy Forthrightly

When we are attempting to persuade anyone for any purpose we must be able to demonstrate empathy. Not simply talk a good story, we must “listen” a good story.  How can we possibly provide an informed buying consultation without truly listening to the potential customers needs?  And, there must be integrity to what we are communicating. We must live it, and not simply talk about it.

It is impossible to be successful at selling if we do not demonstrate empathy. Empathy is simply an understanding of what people really want or need – even if they cannot see it yet themselves.

Henry Ford said, “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

That’s empathy.

However, to truly sell well, we cannot be passive in empathy. We must demonstrate it ‘forthrightly’. There is a confidence we demonstrate when being forthright. Being forthright is being frank, direct, straightforward and straight to the point.

“Let me tell you what I hear you telling me and you tell me if I have heard you correctly.”

Being forthright in that empathy, which you are actively demonstrating, enables you to direct them toward a course of action you are equipped to offer as a solution to their search. It’s not passive, but nor is it aggressive. It is a clear understanding of their need and a confident recommendation for the value of your offering.

Forget “Always Be Closing” – it’s time to “Demonstrate Empathy Forthrightly”.