For the most part, everybody likes a party. There are lots of different reasons to throw a party: birthdays, holidays, Christmas, retirements, Tupperware, engagements, anniversaries, etc. We really don’t need a reason for a party, but it always helps to have a special occasion of some kind to provide us with the impetus to bring a group of people together to celebrate.

Key ingredients for a successful party? People you like, food and beverage you like, music you like, mixed in with something special to celebrate and you’ve got all the fixins. These basic necessities make for a fairly decent get together.

There is a certain kind of party, however, that is never a good time. This party doesn’t involve friends, food, beverages or music, but we seem to regularly join the party. In fact, I think that many of us have a tendency to often join this kind of party.   Do you know the kind of party I’m talking about?

A pity party.

Yup, we all have a tendency to fall into self pity and throw a little pity party. “My life is so hard. You don’t understand the pressure I’m under. Nobody understands me. I don’t have any real friends. My clients are such a pain. Money is so hard to come by. I never seem to have enough. My staff are so self-centered. My kids are lazy. The beer is warm. The pretzels are stale. My steak is overcooked. My house is a black hole for repair bills. My business is killing me…woe is me. Poor me.”

My sons would say, “Somebody call a waaaaaaambulance.”

I am a pretty good pity partier. Hey, I can party with the best of them. I have a secret weapon though – my wife. Oh yes indeed, my wife can smell self-pity a mile away. She has absolutely no tolerance for self-pity, none whatsoever. She has given me a motivational butt kicking on many occasions in an attempt to crash my party.

I’ve learned something else as well, it’s the antidote to pity parties. This will help you never get sucked into a pity party again. This is the real secret weapon in your struggle against self pity…

Gratitude.

Yup, an “attitude of gratitude” will help you steer clear of the pity party. As we choose to think about all those things we can be thankful for, in spite of whatever difficulties we may be experiencing, the mood of our heart shifts. As we choose to be thankful, our hearts shift away from what’s wrong to what’s right. Gratitude is a very powerful tool to focus on the positive of what “is”, instead of the negativity of what “isn’t”.

As you express gratitude toward those you work with – staff, colleagues, clients, vendors, superiors – you will see both your perspective and their behavior shift. Gratitude is a very powerful tool to help bring the best out in people. Try creating a culture of gratitude in your organization and see the seismic shift in corporate culture it creates.

Here is a simple idea for you, create a trophy called the “Kudos Cup”. Each week fill it with chocolates and present it to a staff member who has done something great – “Kudos” (thank you) for a job well done. Then, the person who received the cup has the responsibility to give it away to a colleague the next week. Your staff begins to recognize and thank each other for the good work they do.

When we choose to be thankful for what we have we can also begin to see the bigger picture and realize that in the grand scheme of things we are incredibly privileged compared to 95% of the rest of the world. One way to help you become more thankful is to spend some time helping those who may be less privileged in your community. Help out at a food bank, or a local street mission in your city. Or, travel to a developing country and contribute some time, talent and treasure to help others. I guarantee that after doing this you will have a renewed sense of gratitude and will find it a lot more difficult to join the pity party.

Forget the pity party. Choose an attitude of gratitude – it’s a way better party!