This could easily be the mantra of every leader.  It’s simple, but it’s not easy.  It’s really the basis of all leadership.  This is something you could frame and put on your wall to remind you of its importance.

“Have the Conversation.”

That’s it.  Like I said, simple, but not easy.

The essence of leadership is communication: communication of all sorts, with all kinds of people, in all different types of scenarios, in myriad unique styles and strategies to ensure the greatest degree of engagement with those you lead.

Leadership is all about communication, but leaders can often be too busy or too distracted or too prejudiced to have the conversation.  Prejudiced?  Really?  What does that mean?  Let me tell you story…

I have a very good friend who owns and leads a company of significant size.  We were talking one day about his team and he made this observation:  “I used to get really upset with my people because they could not see what needed to be done.  I can see what needs to be done – why can’t they?  I shouldn’t have to tell them this!”  (AKA – I shouldn’t have to “have the conversation”.)

He continued, “But I have realized that I see what needs to be done because I am an owner.  My staff are not owners and will not see things the way I do.  If they did, they would probably go start their own company.  I need to sometimes help them to see what needs to be done.”

What he is really saying is that if his people are not doing what they need to be doing, he needs to “have the conversation”.  Don’t get all knotted up.  Don’t get cynical.  Don’t get ticked off because they should know better.  That may very well be the case.  However, you need to “have the conversation”.

I was recently working with a CEO of a very large organization who was communicating frustration about a leader on the executive team who ‘should know better’ – “I shouldn’t have to address this.”  That may be true.  However, “have the conversation”.

I know another successful high level leader whose preference is to work with information.  Now, he works very well with people, but given the choice he would pick a spreadsheet over an employee.  He has recognized when difficult issues arise with employees he can procrastinate by burying himself in paperwork when he should, “have the conversation”.

No one really loves having difficult conversations with employees.  Weak leaders avoid those conversations.  They are ostrich leaders who bury their heads in the sand hoping that the problem will just go away.  Sadly though, the problems typically compound until the leader can’t avoid the issue anymore.  It’s now far worse than if they had the conversation at the beginning.

Good leaders force themselves to “have the conversation” when it’s needed – even though it may be difficult or awkward.  They realize if they do not choose to have the conversation now they will end up having to have the conversation later when things have gotten really bad.  It’s like that old Fram oil filter commercial, “You can pay me now, or you pay me later.”  Having the conversation now prevents, or at least limits, how bad things will get if you choose to procrastinate and have the conversation later.

What about good conversations?  You know, those conversations when leaders communicate gratitude and encouragement to their people who are doing a good job.  What happens if the leader doesn’t have the conversation that communicates recognition of and appreciation for the contribution the person is making to the organization?  You know what will happen: that good employee who does not feel appreciated will leave.

“Have the conversation” – communicate appreciation for the contribution your people make.

Good leaders are looking for what conversations they need to be having.  They realize leadership is all about communication.  “How will I communicate with whom, about what, to create the response we need to accomplish our objectives as an organization?”

Good leaders remind themselves continually to say what needs to be said.  One way or the other, not having the conversation will be costly.

Say what you need to say, and have the conversation!