More Wag, Less Bark
During my boyhood we had 3 different dogs.
Our first dog was a poodle cross named Spooky. Spooky had some nasty habits: he would relieve himself in the shoes of visitors and on the grocery bags when my mom brought in the groceries. He would also wipe his rear end on the hallway carpet after he had emptied his bowels outside.
My older sister took him to a dog psychologist who said the reason Spooky misbehaved was because he didn’t like his name. Apparently it had nothing to do with a lack of training, so we changed his name to Bourbon. Sadly he lost his life to a car before we could see any change in his behavior.
Spooky/Bourbon was replaced by an Afghan. Cherub was a beautiful dog, but high energy, not very smart, nor well trained. She dug over 40 holes in the back yard and chewed my dad’s faux leather LazyBoy. This led to her being given away to a farmer where she could roam free at great speed.
Cherub was replaced by Rascal, who was aptly named. Rascal was a cross between a weasel and a pine tree stump – at least that was what my dad said. He was actually a ‘Heinz 57’ with some significant poodle and cocker spaniel mix in there. He was a character. Back in the 70s people pretty well let their dogs roam freely. We were no different, and Rascal would often refuse to come in at bed time so he could roam the neighborhood barking at anything that moved – much to the irritation of our neighbours and the consternation of my family.
One thing I learned through my dog days of childhood: there is nothing that makes you feel quite as special as the love and joy your dog expresses through his emphatic tail wagging and voracious licking when you arrive home at the end of the day. It’s not difficult to see the love and unconditional acceptance of a dog expressed in their tail wag.
Conversely, a dog’s bark can be very irritating. Sure, there are occasions when barking is totally appropriate whether to communicate danger, anger or even elements of joy. But for the most part, a dog that is more bark than wag is irritating.
Likewise with leaders.
I friend of mine passed on a bumper sticker he saw that he thought was a good exhortation to leaders,
“More wag, less bark.”
I agree. Oftentimes leaders find it far easier to bark at their people, especially in stressful times of short deadlines, large workloads or tight budgets.
Would you rather approach a barking dog or a wagging dog? Would you rather work with a barking leader or a wagging leader?
The choice is clear. Barking leaders can alienate, irritate and exhaust their people. Would you want to be around a dog that barks all the time? No. Yet some leaders think that the role of a leader is to bark at their people all day long. Sure, leaders need to be able to bark when necessary, but that is the exception, not the rule.
Good leaders can bark when they have to, but understand what it means to express gratitude, respect, admiration and affection for their people. There is an adage that says,
“I want to be the person my dog thinks I am.”
Dogs seem to draw the best out of us. Their affection disarms us and invites us to be the best we can be. They also help us to step back from the brink and realize that things may not be as bad as we think.
I think a good leader elicits the same sentiment in their people,
“I want to be the person my boss thinks I am.”
A good leader draws the best out their people. They help their people to realize no matter how difficult the challenge there is a way through: we can do this together. Yet good leaders do more than just ‘wag their tails‘. They are not simply “nice guys”. They know when to be fierce and strong and when it’s appropriate to be loud.
But for the most part, good leaders are about “more wag and less bark”.