“Wow, I have never experienced anything like that before!”, he commented with emotion written all over his face.

We had just completed what I call an “Affirmative Close” to a segment of our leadership session. This is something I just added to our meetings. In fact, today was the first day. It clearly had a very positive impact on this leader.

It is quite simple really…

In my work with leaders, as part of The Executive Committee Canada, we spend one full day together every month. Each meeting is hosted by a different member in the group of no more than 16 leaders. Within our day together the host gives a 60 minute presentation about their business and their leadership.

Here is where the Affirmative Close gets added.

At the close of this particular member’s presentation I asked him to sit at the front of the room with his back to the group. I then asked each member to tell him what they appreciated about him. Everyone around the table simply affirmed this member.

“For years you have been engaged in our community. You have a great reputation.”

“I appreciate your humility.”

“You have been in business a long time, but you are here to learn. You are a great example.”

“You chose to intentionally and sacrificially invest in your children – I really respect that.”

No one had any problem articulating something they appreciated about this leader.   It was beautiful. We then applauded the member and thanked him for his presentation, his life and his leadership. He sat down – clearly moved.

I then asked the group to comment on our new “Affirmative Close”. Someone said they thought he should have sat facing us.

“What do you think?”, I asked the recipient of the group’s affirmation.

“I don’t think I could have handled it. I actually got emotional.”, he replied.

Wow – the power of affirmation is significant.

We all agreed it would be good to give the recipient of the Affirmative Close the option of facing the group, or facing away from the group so they can simply concentrate on what is being said to them.

Affirmation is powerful. What do you think that process did for my member? Did he feel cared for, appreciated, valued and happy? You bet he did. Do you think his emotional attachment with the group deepened? Absolutely. Do you think relationships were incrementally moved forward? Yup. Do you think he feels more loyal to the group? I bet he does.

Now, let’s look at your team. Would you like to create a relationally tighter team comprised of happy people who feel valued and appreciated and are, therefore, more loyal and engaged? If you don’t, then you shouldn’t be leading. Of course you do. So, how difficult is it to create that kind of culture? Judging by what we experienced today, it’s not that difficult.

There were a few perquisites that made this experience possible though. We are a group of people who have been on a leadership journey together for about 6 months. As part of that journey we have been committed to providing insight into our personal and professional life. Basically we are open with each other about the reality of our lives.

We have gotten to know each other’s story.

We have also committed ourselves to the following core values: Humility, Courage, Commitment, Confidentiality, Accountability, Authenticity, Engagement, and Vulnerability.

It is upon this foundation that we have forged relationship – even though we meet together only once every month. So, after meeting 6 times each person was able to speak openly and honestly about the qualities they saw in this particular member. We then simply told him what we saw.

And, in the case of this particular person, even though he’s led for decades he’s never been affirmed like this. Sadly, we sometimes don’t affirm the quality and impact of a person until their funeral – and it’s a little late then.

If you have been building relationship with your team and you want to take them to the next level, try introducing an Affirmative Close to your meetings.

I guarantee you will discover the power of affirmation!